


as the lights go dim

by DarchangelSkye



Category: American Idol RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, M/M, Mostly introspection, Parallels, Present Tense, Suggestive Themes, Tumblr Prompt, Wordcount: 500-1.000, implied adultery, relationship is not major focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:13:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7235104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's observed a lot of things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as the lights go dim

**Author's Note:**

> soooo, georgiehensley had wanted Harry/Ryan fic based on a couple [flirty-sounding](http://trippsykes.tumblr.com/post/141228896036/ive-been-called-a-bad-girl-before-and-you) [remarks](http://trippsykes.tumblr.com/post/141228464966/harry-has-a-good-downward-dog-ryan-wtf) from the March 17 show and...whatever the result was supposed to be I doubt it was this holy crap am I sorry -_- I'm sure I'll try again at some point, but for now this end-of-show-feelings piece had to get out of the ol' system.
> 
> Title knicked from [Time To Go](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harryconnickjr/timetogo.html) which sadly has no easily accessible audio, thanks YouTube copyright bots.

"You're too attached to those kids." Harry has groggily mumbled this into his neck on an occasion or two, punctuated by a nip to the shoulder or jawline like that's supposed to be some kind of punishment.

And Ryan supposes he's right, but that's an effect from being around long as he has. For the most part Harry's only seen as much as the audience at home. He hasn't been privy to every little backstage secret.

He hasn't seen every bleary-eyed face and groggy morning smile from 6 A.M. wake-up calls. He hasn't seen all the kids who've paced back and forth in frantic circles, occasionally clutching their stomachs and looking washed out from nerves so Ryan grabbed a water for them. He hasn't seen every singer whose cried their hearts out in the green room after spilling their souls onstage in front of millions.

And he also hasn't seen all the romantic liaisons that have come up. There haven't been as many as the internet likes to squeal and speculate about, and sometimes their guesses of who was doing it were way off, but they happened. Ryan has seen people leaning close for their foreheads to almost touch, fingers subtly intertwining, hugs that lingered, murmurs too soft to be picked up by mikes, and every once in a while a discreet kiss on the corner of the lips that gives Ryan a smile when he sees them. Love wasn't dead even in the midst of chaos.

Of course, not all the relationships last. Most of the time it's over when one of the people is sent home, sometimes the appearance of a boyfriend or girlfriend from back home throws a wrench into the works. Other times it's just people growing apart like people do, whether in a gradual linger or in one big dramatic spat whose defining details are kept away from anyone listening, including Ryan.

The ones that do end up lasting a little, well, god help them in this crazy bubble. He empathizes all too well.

And if all that means being too attached, then so be it. Somebody has to keep an eye on these kids who are so far away from home and just want to make their dreams come true. Every year it seems the pressures get harder and harder and some people just threaten to crack. Ryan hadn't planned on empathizing or getting close to those dreamers to keep them cracking drastically, but there it was.

He knows he's really going to miss this show.

And he also knows he and Harry will be resigned to the same fate as many of those entanglements when the theater empties for the last time. They'll go back to their own respective "real" lives and various projects, maybe occasionally run into each other at events and do their best to keep a casual facade while exchanging a word or two. Like nothing ever happened at all.

Ryan supposes he doesn't regret it any more than they do. Needing to find closeness under craziness is a universal thing, even under the lights of Hollywood that dim sooner or later. If he's attached, that means he knows how it feels to be in their shoes.


End file.
